In this post today, you will find out 7 ways on how to deal with toxic family members without the need for angry outbursts, anger or confrontations.
Dealing with toxic family members can be very challenging indeed especially given the fact that they are the closed ones to you.
Disclaimer: All the information presented here is for educational purposes only and is not intended for those going through complicated family issues and trauma. Always seek a qualified counsellor if you are going through sensitive family issues for help.
How do you even go about that? This is the question you want an answer to which is the reason you have visited this post isn’t it?
Sincerely speaking, dealing with disrespectful toxic family members is very tricky as you just can’t simply trash and cut them off your life just like that due to their closeness to you.
Cutting toxic friends out of your life is much easier as you can simply just trash them by the wayside if they no longer add value to your life.
Not so with family members, you are closely related by blood who have been with you for all your entire life since childhood which has resulted in a strong bond as a result.
This could be relatives, sisters, brothers or even your very own parents which makes things even more challenging as toxic family dynamics can be very complicated at times leaving you completely paralyzed.
The toxic behaviour may be developed as a result of underlying resentment and bitterness which is often as a result of unresolved issues, conflicts or misunderstandings within the family itself.
Simply trashing your very own family members like throwing dirty in a trash can isn’t the best way of handling such a delicate and sensitive issue as it might look very selfish on your part.
In this article, I will give you some tips which will help you deal with toxic family members in a loving and compassionate way without compromising your self-worth.
7 Tips For Dealing With Toxic Family Members
Here are 10 tips with an explanation on each one on how to deal with toxic family members to help you handle troublesome toxic family members in a loving way.
- Don’t Try to Change Them
- Pray For Them
- Don’t Excuse Their Toxic Behavior
- Seek Godly Counseling
- Create Personal Space from Them
- Show Them Love and Understanding
1. Don’t Try to Change Them
This is one of the most important tips I can give you when it comes to dealing with toxic relatives or family members.
When a family member is toxic, try to understand what the underlying cause of their toxicity is coming from which could be due to their own fears and insecurities they might be facing.
The other reason why a family member can be toxic could be as a result of unresolved altercations and misunderstanding which have been buried deep resulting in bitterness.
Remember, you can’t change the views or actions a toxic family member may project towards ever. The best you can do is try to respond with love, compassion, and understanding.
It isn’t your job to change the toxic behaviour they have towards you which is just a mere reflection of their own issues they have which has nothing to do with you, okay.
Try to help them overcome their toxic behaviour instead of responding with rage, anger or outbursts which just adds fuel to the already blazing wildfire.
2. Pray For Them
Praying for toxic family members for the Lord to change and transform their hearts is the best tip and advice I can give you.
Well because only God has the sovereign power to change people’s hearts and not you. If you try to go beyond those jurisdictions, you will end up being frustrated and bitter in your heart which isn’t good for your emotional health long term.
Your part it’s to pray for the Salvation of those toxic family members who might be giving you a hard time and draining you emotionally.
You should always pray for any toxic member in your family before deciding to cut them completely out of your life. Give them a second chance and be patient to change.
Remember, the Devil doesn’t like it when there are peace, love, and harmony in the family and will try everything in his power to cause divisions, bitterness, and hate in your family.
He does so by sowing seeds of confusion, petty misunderstandings, and strife to achieve his diabolic plans of raising your family to the ground. So, be watchful.
When the Devil sees love and harmony in your family, he’s literally burning with rage hand hate which can’t be described in human words. Always pray and bind the Devil away from your family for he is already a defeated for through Christ.
3. Don’t Excuse Their Toxic Behavior
Just because they are your family members that don’t mean that they have the right to treat you like dirt or garbage.
If your family members toxic levels start approaching dangerous levels beyond your accepted limits and boundaries, you need to speak up instead of suffering in silence and letting their hurtful toxic behaviour eat and consume you alive from the inside.
Yes, they are your family but that doesn’t give them the license to mistreat you as if you don’t have feeling and emotions as well.
Remember, good family members who deeply love you with all their heart won’t ever treat you like trash or garbage. Rather, they will treat you with love and dignity you deserve as a human being.
You should calmly sit down and have an honest conversation with them in love, compassion, understanding, and humility how their destructive toxic behaviour is negatively affecting you before the thing gets out of hand.
Keeping quiet and doing nothing won’t solve the problem as some toxic family members can be extremely emotionally abusive, damaging and destructive to your very personal wellbeing.
4. Seek Godly Counseling
Sometimes handling toxic family dynamics of your toxic family members can be too complicated to handle and resolve all by yourself.
You may have tried everything in your power in trying to be loving and understanding to them but still no change instead of worsening and deteriorating relationship between them.
In such situations, it’s wise to seek Godly counsel from licensed mature church leaders and counsellors who are spiritually sound who will be willing to give you wise Godly counsel and wisdom on how to deal with such complex family situations.
This is especially true if those narcissist toxic family members go beyond the accepted boundaries which might result in you hating and resenting them all together.
Always seek Godly council when you can’t handle or deal with toxic relatives or family members by yourself as this will save you a lot of emotional headaches and costly mistakes which would otherwise break your family.
5. Create Personal Space from Them
Sometimes physically distancing yourself from your narcissistic toxic family members for a while who are making your life a living hell is the best decision you can make to preserve your personal well being.
When your family members become very toxic at the point which threatens your very personal growth and development, it’s wise to distance yourself from them to avoid any further family drama and emotional damage to yourself.
This doesn’t mean you must completely cut them off from your life and stop talking to them as they are still your family and remember, no family is perfect. Show them, unconditional love and Grace, they desperately need.
It’s just that you just create some personal space and boundaries for yourself which will avoid you being entangled in their drama and issues.
Each family has its own unique challenges they face and deal with from time to time. Therefore, don’t be quick to write off your family members as they may change given some time.
Only use the last resort if everything you have tried has failed to work out. Only then, can you distance yourself from them for a while for the sake of your wellbeing and dignity?
Embracing and showing forgiveness to toxic family members who have deeply wounded and hurt you isn’t easy by any means.
This could be a toxic relative or anyone in your toxic family who tries to bring your down or constantly judge or criticize whatever you try to do or your personal decisions.
But remember their toxicity directed towards you has nothing to do with you. With that in mind, you can forgive them and try to understand why they are behaving that way.
Forgiving your toxic family members doesn’t excuse their toxic behaviour and you should seek some personal space if they try to go too far.
When you forgive toxic members in your family, your free yourself from the bitterness which may just negatively affect your emotional health if you contained it in your heart.
7. Show Them Love and Understanding
This might be the least advice you may want to hear but I understand that showing love to a toxic family member who has hurt your feelings so terribly might seem unfair on your part.
But remember this when you show unconditional love compassion and understanding, some unsupportive and toxic members in your family will be ashamed of themselves for mistreating you.
Rather than responding with resentment outbursts and anger, a touch of love and understanding on your side will go a long way in helping your toxic family members realize that what they are doing is evil and devilish.
When toxic members in your family see your shining overwhelming love from your heart, they will learn by your example on how to treat other humans with love, dignity, and respect they deserve.
You now know the 7 tips on how to deal with toxic family members with love and understanding. It now over to you.
If you are dealing with complicated family issues, I strongly encourage you to see a licensed Godly counsellor who will help you in dealing with these types of complex and sensitive family issues.
Don’t’ suffer in silence and let unresolved family issues eat and consume you from the inside which might be detrimental to your mental health long term.
With all said and done, if you enjoyed this post and founds it helpful, kindly share it with everyone you know who might be going through complicated family issues as they will find it helpful. Sharing is indeed caring as you know. Cheers.