Today, in this post I will show you, 15 toxic parents, signs and traits you need to be aware of to help you identify whether your parents are toxic or not early.
Indeed, toxic parents can be very difficult to identify early on but if you know the traits toxic parents exhibit beforehand, you will find it easy to identify them on time.
Early enough before irreparable emotional damage is done to you and if you are struggling to know whether your parent you are with are toxic or not don’t despair.
This post will show you the top 15 signs of a toxic parent or parents which will make it easy for you to know whether the parent you are with are toxic or not.
Without wasting much, of your time, let’s dive into the top 15 toxic parent signs you must be on the lookout for to help deal with troublesome toxic parents gracefully.
15 Signs Of A Toxic Parent
Here are the 15 signs of a toxic parent which will help you gracefully handle toxic parents respectfully without any need for unnecessary confrontations.
- Emotional Landmines
- Very Critical Of Everything You Do
- Make You Feel Bad About Yourself
- They Blame You For Everything
- They Don’t Want To See You Happy
- Won’t Let You Freely Socialize
- No Respect For Your Personal Boundaries
- They Will Estrange You
- Silent Haters
Abusiveness towards children is among the earliest signs of toxic parents which they display at an early stage of their toxic behaviour.
The abuse can either be verbal, physical and emotional with the latter being the worst and most damaging to the child’s emotional and physiological growth.
This is why children from very abusive parents have very low self-esteem and are often very suicidal due to the worthlessness they feel inside their hearts.
It’s very saddening indeed as all children deserve healthy parents who will help them grow to responsible children but that’s not always the case.
Remember, if you were raised by abusive parents, it’s not your problem and I encourage you to go for counselling if you feel the need to heal from the past childhood trauma.
Another trait toxic parents have is that they are very controlling and possessive of their children such that their children can’t express themselves freely.
Children from controlling parents are not allowed to freely express themselves and their uniqueness as that will be flagged as rebellion.
Instead, children are expected to conform to whatever wishes that toxic parent wants even if it might not be in the best interests of that child.
You can’t be who you are as a child without being viciously attacked by possessive parents. Rather, those children live in their homes like caged birds wanting to escape prison.
If you have controlling parents who want to control everything in your life, you need to just respectfully distance yourself from them which is enough in most cases.
Toxic parents are some of the most irrational and unreasonable people you will ever have in your life as a child which is frustrating indeed but don’t let that get into your head.
Due to the fact that they expect you to conform to whatever they want to see from you even if it’s not in your best interests long-term.
And if you don’t conform to their irrational demands, you are in big trouble and you will be called all sorts of names making you look like you are a terrible child.
Indeed, toxic parents who are irrational are very difficult to please as nothing goo you will ever do for them will be enough.
If you want to handle irrational parents without unnecessary drama, spend less time with them and don’t argue back when they talk and rant. Respect them and live your life in peace.
When it comes to taking care of their children, toxic and unhealthy parents are very negligent of their children’s needs and only thinks about their own needs.
Why should they even care about your needs when they can’t even take care of their own lives which have issues and are full of drama.
If you are a child of a toxic parent, your physical, emotional and physiological needs will be neglected and throw into the backburner.
They will miss all the important events in a child’s life which are important to that child to feel loved and valued by their parents.
If you have been affected by toxic parenting in your early childhood, don’t let that define you because it’s not your fault that you were neglected. You are still your best ally.
If your parents become too toxic for you to be around them in peace without any drama. It could be a sign your parents have some form of narcissistic personality disorders.
This kind of highly toxic behaviour is very serious and very often requires you to visit a qualified and licensed therapist to help you deal with narcissistic parents.
Due to the fact that narcissistic parents are extremely abusive to their own children and the emotional wounds and scars they leave of their children are so deep that they very often only heal if counselling is involved.
Don’t suffer in silence if you are dealing with narcissistic parents. Quickly seek help and counselling to help you heal from the narcissistic abuse your parents may have inflicted on you when you were a child.
Narcissist parents are very difficult to deal with and spending less time with them and praying for them at a distance is the best thing you can do for yourself and for them. too.
6. Emotional Landmines
This couldn’t be further from the truth due to the emotional instability toxic parents have and are known for. They are highly volatile emotionally.
You have to be careful all the time if you are around them to avoid triggering an emotional response that will make them act the way they do.
Essentially, you have to walk on eggshells when you are around them and to be careful with what you say or do lest they detonate explosively leaving you dazed and confused.
Well, this is because they will explode in rage if you do any slightest thing which upsets them or don’t agree with them. They always want you to side with their views and opinions.
Their homes are essentially emotional minefields you need to be careful of when you get there and if you are not, you will suffer the consequences.
If you are dealing with parents who are emotional landmines, it’s best not to argue or disagree with them on anything which is usually the trigger. Just mind your own business.
7. Very Critical Of Everything You Do
Whatever you do for yourself is wrong in their minds and only want you to do things that conform to their ideologies.
This could be the choices you make in life, how you look, who you are, the way you dress and so on and so forth. You are never good enough for them, period.
They will relentlessly criticize everything you do and find everything wrong with what you are doing for yourself as if you don’t have a mind of your own.
If you are being yourself, for them that’s a big problem for them because what they want is you to conform to the person they want you to see and not the free and happy person you truly want to be.
This is why they will endlessly criticize and throw jabs at you and make you feel bad about yourself which is sad indeed. If your parents don’t love who you are, it means you need to spend less time with them.
8. Make You Feel Bad About Yourself
A toxic parent whether mother or father will make you feel bad about yourself and trick you to think that everything is wrong about yourself.
They will cause you to despise and hate yourself by attacking your dignity and your personality as toxic parents are very critical of their children.
If you are not careful with them, they can make you go into a depression or make you become suicidal due to the lack of love and acceptance you want from them.
But the good news is that you have a choice not to let the toxic behaviour of your parents to influence you negatively. You deserve to be loved and treated with dignity by your parents.
If your toxic and unhealthy parents are making you feel bad about yourself or constantly criticize who you are, you need some space from them to avoid things getting out of hand.
9. They Blame You For Everything
You will be blamed for everything going wrong in their lives and you will be regarded as a scapegoat for all the drama going on between you and them.
Well, this is because toxic parents are too arrogant to admit their faults to their children and always want to be right all the time. You are the problem and not them.
Instead, when something wrong happens between you and them, they will quickly blame you for why they had to behave or act irrationally.
But remember, your parents are responsible for their own choices they make in life and you are responsible for yours and you don’t have to be their scapegoat for their issues.
Stop trying to change them because you can’t as change is a personal thing. If they don’t want to change, it’s their problem and not yours. Live your life and let them live theirs.
10. They Don’t Want To See You Happy
Since happiness can’t coexist where drama and toxicity are, toxic parents will develop stomach ulcers if they see you happy & progressing in life while they are sad & miserable.
As you know, miserable loves company, a toxic parent also wants you to be miserable just like them and they won’t stop bothering you with their drama until you become miserable and depressed just like them.
Only then will they stop bothering you with their toxic drama and the funny thing is that they will even ask you why you are miserable or depressed when in fact it’s them who are squarely responsible for making you feel that way.
However, you must not let the toxic behaviour of your parents affect your happiness and joy you are radiating in your life shining bright like the sun in midday.
If they want to cloud and contaminate your happiness with their toxic energy, just keep a safe distance from them. You can still show them, love, as they are still your parents, though toxic.
11. Won’t Let You Freely Socialize
You won’t be allowed to go out and freely hang out with friends or move out of the house to visit someone without constantly asking you where you are going or what you are going to do.
They will keep you under close surveillance about your whereabouts, who you visit, who you talk to and where you go at all times due to their insecurities fearing that something bad may happen to you.
You are treated like a wanted felon because toxic parents want you to always be with them at home to help them with their issues they can do themselves.
Of course, it’s good for parents to know the whereabouts of their children for safety reasons but not to a point where you can’t freely go visit someone or a friend.
You don’t have to be a prisoner and if parents are unreasonably restricting you where to go and who to visit, you need to have a respectful conversation with them about how that is affecting you.
12. No Respect For Your Personal Boundaries
Toxic parents have zero respect and regard for your personal boundaries and will trample and cross them at will without feeling bad about it.
This is why they will treat or say whatever they want to your even if it’s abusive, disrespectful or hurts you. If you try to remind them respectfully that what they are doing to you is disrespectful and hurts you, they will freak out and justify their actions and behaviour.
But to avoid things getting out of hand or renting your parents, you need to set healthy boundaries between you and them as to what is permissible to you.
If you don’t you will continue being abused at will and if your parents don’t comply with the healthy boundaries you have put in place, it’s best to distance yourself from them to avoid unnecessary altercations or drama.
13. They Will Estrange You
Over time, a toxic parent will lose affection towards you and become estranged towards you and at this point, you are nothing but a stranger to them.
This usually leads them to abandon you altogether either physically by not being with you when you need them most or emotionally by not giving you the emotional love and affection you crave from them.
Most toxic parents begin to abandon their children in those two ways until there is no relationship between them and their children to talk about.
Consequently, children of such parents will start seeking love and attention in the wrong places which is why many go into drugs or join gangs to feel a sense of love and belonging they never got from their parents at home.
If you were estranged or forsaken by your parents, remember it’s not your fault and remembers you have God on your side who can never forsake you though your earthly parents may do so. Just put your trust in him & he will take care of you.
A toxic parent is indeed a very unpredictable parent and you constantly need to be careful when you are around them.
Today they may act ok and promise you that they will change but tomorrow act completely different and irrational towards you just out of the blue.
They are essentially a ticking emotional time bomb ready to detonate at any moment’s notice. You are essentially walking on eggshells when you are with them all the time.
But don’t let their unpredictable behaviour make you live in fear or affect your life. You can still limit your time with them in a loving way to avoid triggering them to act irrationally.
If your parents are unpredictable, you need to spend less time with them and only be with them when they are strait especially if they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
15. Silent Haters
Believe it or not some toxic parents are silent haters in a very subtle manner especially if you are doing better than them in life or do what they didn’t do in their lives.
They do this because your success and achievements in life remind them where they screwed up in their early life and fell short.
This is why you will notice a sudden change in the way they talk and treat you when you do something significant for your life which they failed to do.
Jealousy and envy begin to develop in their hearts as they see you surpassing them and setting new records for your life which they can only dream and vainly wish for.
You should never let the jealousy of any toxic parent make you feel bad about your success & happiness you have which they don’t. It’s not your fault that they failed to fulfil their dreams but theirs.
These are the top 15 toxic parents signs I had to share with you in this post and I hope they will now help you spot toxic parents in time before they do irreparable emotional damage to you.
Indeed, toxic parents can be very difficult to handle due to the nature of the relationship you have with them due to the fact they are your biological parents who brought you into this world.
Yes, you should never forsake or disrespect your parents whether toxic or not because there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Respect them but don’t allow their toxic behaviour to affect your life.
You can show them some love through your exemplary behaviour and praying for them so that God changes their hearts and he has done that to so many people. So, why not you?
In closing, if you found this post beneficial, kindly share it with everyone you know having a hard time with toxic parents as they will benefit too. Sharing is caring. Cheers.